Perfectly Imperfect - The Back Story...

Warning:

This is going to be deep, while I am afraid of the

vulnerability that comes with this;

This is part of my story...

My story is about being forced to shoulder the burdens of the world at a time when I was not old enough to recognize them. It’s about what happens to a child when all she once new was turn upside down and damaged...

The perfect storm! 

I choose to call it a story of hope, a story of God...from ashes to beauty, (like) a beautiful stained glass window.

I felt like I died a thousand times as a child but that there must have been a blessing, a resurrection, somewhere in all my deaths, or I would not be alive today.

I’ve learned that thinking that I can one day be free of my childhood trauma, dangerously thinking because it makes me repeat my behavior and self-destructive thinking. There is no changing the past. It will always remain with me. However, there is honest awareness.

With a lot of deep and personal work, I’ve learned that the difference is that I won’t react to the pain anymore. I won’t let it control me. I will always struggle with feeling unlovable. I have learned that the pain and desire is always real, but not about what is happening in the moment.

I don't share this part of my story for pity, I open up to share a message of hope a sign of encouragement that when life beats us down to our lowest point, a place where all we feel is darkness and weakness, there's still a glimmer of hope.